How to Fix Your Car

How to Fix Your Car

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Understanding cars isn’t easy to do. It’s almost as hard as knowing a Defensive Driving course vs. Driver’s Education course material. There are so many makes and models, and just to confuse us, car makers change those models from year to year. Sure, they say they’re trying to meet consumer demands, but it mainly just seems like they want to drive home mechanics of every kind completely out of their minds. If you want to learn more about how to fix your car, then keep this information in mind.

You’ll Have to Become Omnipotent

When you’re omnipotent, you can do whatever you want. It won’t matter that your car was made in Zanzibar in 1927, and no one has ever heard of the company name or the parts inside it. You’ll be able to figure out exactly what’s wrong and exactly how to make it better. So far, this is the only way we’ve determined to accurately fix your car. Without knowing all, you run the risk of replacing your fender with a flux capacitor or your windshield wiper with a carrot.

See Your Mechanic

Your mechanic is really going to be your best bet to make your car road-worthy again. Will they overcharge you? Possibly. Will they make you feel personally responsible for everything wrong with your car, carefully going over all the details as to why you’re a failure when it comes to maintenance? Probably. Will they help you pass a defensive driving course to dismiss a ticket? Definitely not.  But unless you can accomplish the first tip (reminder: it was to become omnipotent), then you’re pretty much out of luck. And if you don’t believe us, then we have a story for you.

Buy the Right Car: Keep Kelly In Mind

We want you to keep one life-changing story in mind. One time a girl, let’s call her Kelly (middle name Blue, last name book), decided that she needed a 2002 Saab convertible. The car was almost exactly like the one Jerry drove on Seinfeld, and she knew that this car was the only for her. For a while, there was nothing that could convince her that it was the wrong choice. Until that car got an oil leak.

Saab’s are weird. They don’t function like the rest of the cars on the road. She took it to thousands of mechanics, and no one knew what to do. Several tried and failed, charging her thousands of hundreds in the process. At some point during her time with this car, she needed a timing belt changed when she broke down in Vegas. Most mechanics laughed at her and hung up the phone as she melted in the desert heat on the side of the road. Until one mechanic took her call, and then proceeded to charge her a thousand dollars to fix for what should have been a $300 change. Because they knew she needed to get home, and because they were jerks. They did throw in a ‘free’ car wash though, so she left the land of casinos with a warm, fuzzy feeling that human beings cared about her.

She had learned a valuable lesson about getting her car fixed, and you should too. Her next car was a Honda. Mechanics both knew it, had parts for it, and didn’t ask “What’s a Honda?”

Fix It Yourself

Ok, so some repairs are easy. We definitely lied. Oil changes, simple tune-up stuff, and bulb/fuse replacements should all be doable. Take your time, do your homework and don’t let your drunk cousin help you. Just be careful and don’t take on too much.

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